The Atomic Mom

This is What a Blog Post Looks Like When Typed on Your Phone

So, I had to go to court Monday over the douche face who didnt want to give my deposit back on the home I thought I was renting to own via land contract. He backed out on us 4 days before we were to move in, leaving me with 12 days to repack all of our things. We had already put in our 30 day notice at the apartment complex we were living at. Needless to say, my flipping out is an understatement.

The judge ruled in my favor, of course, since I hadn't even moved in there yet.

We communicated today via text message. At first things were quite a bit less than friendly, but after awhile we both softened up a bit. He was upset that at the time I didn't offer my condolences in respect to his mother who had passed on just as we were settling our deal. I'm pretty sure that I did, but I was so upset at the time it may not have crossed my mind.

After I told him I was very sorry that he had lost his mother, and apologized for any offensive words I may have thrown his way, he seemed satisfied. Not once did he apologize for leaving me and my children with nowhere to live. I didn't mention that to him though. I was just trying to settle this and get my money back.

I was told that he would call me back within a few hours to discuss a payment plan. Surprisingly, he did call back.

He told me he would give me $50 on August 23rd, $150 on September 6th, and the other $600 on September 15th when he got his financial aid check. Obviously he and his wife are full time students.

While I am very happy that he has offered at last to give my money back, I just wish I could get the lump sum all at once. 50 here and 150 there just really isn't what I want. After all, I didn't pay him in payments. I took him an envelope with 8 $100 bills in it.

I guess I should be happy that he is offering to pay at all. That money sure will come in handy. Frye baby will be here by August 25th at the latest, and I have hardly anything for the little guy as of right now.

What I wouldn't give to be one of those "Real Housewives" you see on tv. Ah well, maybe in another life.

Rollercoaster

Is there really a better term to describe life?

Something amazing happens. Everyone is happy. A day or so later something devastatingly awful comes along and knocks the wind right out of you and there you are again. Right back at the bottom trying to claw your way out of the pit.

This time last week we were on Cloud 9. We had just gotten things fixed up in the new place. We were comfortable and content. Travis was set to start a very well paying job come Monday, and life was looking really good.

This weekend, not so much. Things fell through with the job. Now he is back out on the grind again looking for something (anything) that might make it to where we can pay our rent next month or ya know, maybe keep the lights on or something like that. Honestly, I'm not even able to enjoy this pregnancy. This last time that I will ever carry a child within my body. I am ready to get it over with so that I can find a good daycare here and go back to waiting tables. It's never hard to find work waiting tables. I could at least do that until something better came along.

Really, though? I'm 38 weeks pregnant. I could blow any minute. Would anyone hire me now? I don't think so.

I'm not worried though. Well, not much anyway. We always make it, somehow. Usually it's by the skin of our teeth, but we pull through.

I'm just so thankful for the things we do have. We have wonderful healthy children. We have a comfortable little home with a roof that does not leak. We have the peacefulness of living far enough away from everyone that we are never bothered. I have a six year old boy who has always been spoiled to death by having to sleep with someone who just decided two days ago that he wanted to sleep by himself and has done so beautifully. I also have a 17 month old sweet baby that smiles first thing every morning when he wakes up.

I am blessed. There are so many less fortunate than I, and for all that I mentioned above I am thankful. I sit here on my comfortable love-seat, drinking my coffee with laptop in hand, and I realize that I have nothing to cry about. Nothing at all.

A House is Made of Wood and Beams

A home is made of hopes and dreams.

 

So, unfortunately for some, I'm still around.

I haven't been online too much lately because, well, life is busy.

We just moved to a new town. A new place that I like. Who cares if I'm out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of crazies? I feel right at home. I look at the photos of all of your homes on your blogs and I'm ate up with jealousy, because I'm not sure if I will ever be able to afford a nice modern home like that. Your stainless steel appliances? Yeah, those get to me sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that you are successful enough to own such things, or that you just so happened to marry the right man, or maybe inherited tons of loot from family. That still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt a little to see the photos of your perfectly decorated mansion. You go girls! Really! I just hope that one day I can have the same. For now though, I can't, and I'm okay with that.

I remember something that an ex lover of mine said to me while we were together. He often told me stories about his childhood and his mother. She was never the best mother, and she had many faults. They never had a big nice home to live in, and sometimes they didn't have dinner to put on the table (unless he and his brother rogued the neighbor's vegetable garden), but he remembers a happy childhood. He said they moved a lot, but no matter where they ended up his mama always made their "place" feel like home. He always had a clean and decent living place to live. She made sure of that, and that is something that he carried with him to adulthood.

I've thought a lot about that lately. I did move to a place that was a huge step up from the ratty apartment we were crammed into, but it's nothing special. I'm sure a lot of my fellow bloggers wouldn't live here, but it's okay for now. Mothers have a knack for making the best out of a bad situation, especially when it comes to their kids, and I have turned our little space into a comfortable place that feels like home. That is all that matters to me. My children are happy here. We are comfortable. This is our home. I want my children to have the same memories of me that the ex had of his mother (well some of them). I want them to know that no matter where we end up that I will always make sure they have a comfortable home where they are happy.

There is a piece on my wall that says, "A house is made of walls and beams. A home is made of hopes and dreams."

That, my friends, is completely the truth in my case.

P.S. I will be blogging here quite frequently from here on out. I've missed this space immensely. This space that belongs to only me.

Also, as I notice my twitter widget up right, I am hoping that I have a couple more that 0 followers. Last time I checked I did. WTF Twitter?

((Update : Yeah, I totally forgot I changed my twitter username. Whoops. You can now follow me on twitter as @theboysmama, which ties in rather well with the new blog I'm "working on".))