The Atomic Mom

Happy (early) Mother's Day to Me!!!

 

I'm pretty excited about this. While Pup and myself were out tonight we decided to go look around good ol'Wally-World, and I started looking at Digital Cameras. I found a pretty good Sanyo camera for a reasonable price, and my sweetheart of a man bought it for me Mother's Day. Am I lucky or what? Yes. I'm lucky. Be jealous.

No, really my old camera died quite a while back, and I've been heartbroken ever since, so I'm pretty dang happy. This is the best gift I could have gotten. You'll be seeing a lot more photos from me, that is once I figure out how to use the damn thing.

He wonders why I will never wait until the actual holiday to get my presents. Well, it's pretty obvious, I told him - "because you never make me!" Then for some odd reason he went to bed pouting. Strange. I hope he wasn't expecting anything in return - I'm too busy playing with it! (the camera, that is) Below is myself - I can't help but giggle at his pouting face as he comes to tell me goodnight.

(Yes, I'm still adjusting the settings. Any tips?) 

Everyone Can't Hate Me - Feedburner Must be Broken.

Because, surely there are not four subscribers who subscribe and unsubscribe to me every single day. It's like one day I look and there are a whopping 18, and then the next day only a measly 14. It's been this way for about a week now, and I'm wondering if I really can say something every single day to make people want to click unsubscribe. Probably, but I didn't realize it before.

I mean, I log on and see my numbers have dropped, and with every little digit that disappears the crack in my heart becomes just a little bit deeper. You wouldn't break a poor girl's heart would you? I guess so you bitches*.

Ah well. You win some. You lose some. But, if you don't hurry over to my giveaway within the next ten days you're going to be the one to lose some/one/it/something &#*%@ whatever. Just go. Now.

* RAWR. Just playin'. hehe

Some Women Shouldn't Procreate. Ever.

Dear Lady at the T-ball Games,

   Although our children play together on a team I have grown to dislike you very much. Actually, it is to the point where I hate to even see you show up to their games anymore. At first I just though you were a bitch, but now I'm seeing what a narcissistic self-centered old hag that you are. The last game, where I heard you bitching about that lady smoking, is what really did it for me.

  You are not the only one on the side lines. Nor do I believe that someone should put their cigarette out just because you came and decided to stand directly behind them. Then you go and bitch to your almost-just-as-bitchy husband about "people smoking here should be more considerate - they should have a smoking section." Geez, lady, did you forget that we live in a free country, and also that it is legal to smoke in public in the state of Kentucky unless otherwise stated? Yes, I hate to be the one to inform you, but it is true. The sad part about it is that these women do step off of the sidelines. They don't smoke in the stands, and heck I've not even seen anyone smoking NEAR the field - they usually walk all the way back toward the school, which obviously isn't good enough for you who wants to stand directly behind them wherever they're at and then bitch about it.

  Yes, I'm a smoker. No, I do not blow my smoke in your or your child's faces, although I would like very much to do so to you. I'm pretty sure you just started bitching to your hubby within my ear range because you know I smoke. Did that make me feel guilty? Did I then weep for your overly sensitive nasal passages? Negative. I believe, if you remember correctly, that I stepped out of the dug-out, and off of the field and I lit one up. Why? Because I'm allowed to, and there's nothing you can do about it. I don't think my smoking 50 ft. away from you actually pollutes your precious breathing air any more than it already is.

  Yes, I did notice the day that you and your snotty friend were talking about me. I did see her look over at me, say something to you, and then you both looked. I'm pretty sure it was because I was smoking all the way across the field - alone. You must have been horrified, as I imagine. With cigarette smoke wafting 20 ft. away from you. How ever did you manage to live through it? Did your gossiping about me bother me? No, I learned how to deal with bitches like you and your girlfriend in high school.

  You know, now that I think about it, that same friend that you were talking about me with? Well, I'm pretty sure it was her son that you yelled at during our last game, and said to his father "You better go out there and get him before I say something!" Just because him and your precious offspring were goofing around on the field. Then after they pulled the poor boy off of the field, and actually left the game because of it, I'm pretty sure you were standing there talking to another lady about the one that was such a good friend of yours before. You know what that makes me think? Well, nothing. It just makes want to stand a little bit closer to you next time I light one up.

   Oh, and one other thing. I think it's hilarious how you manage to keep your hair bleached that nasty shade of blonde, and keep your legs perfectly tan. You think you're something dontcha? Well, you might have been back in the day, but not anymore, because the deep open wrinkles on your face and the liver spots all over your legs have gotten the best of your possibly once decent looks.

So, he's not dying AND I'm doing a book review!

Yesterday I was extremely sick. I had taken the kid to the doctor for his poor tummy that had kept us both awake for four nights, and I was freaking out because I thought I was going to have to excuse myself to the restroom* to puke while the doc was in there examining my child. What kind of mother would I have looked like if I would've left my 4 year old in there alone with his doc to tell him about his 'symptoms' all by himself?

Basically the doc told me that he's faking it! I had no clue that a 4 year old's mind is capable of concocting a scheme so grand that it not only kept him out of school for a day, but also kept us both awake for 4 nights! Amazing. I don't think I learned that until I was at least 10. Is he now going to be sneaking out of his bedroom window at the age of 6? I'm beginning to wonder. Needless to say, after the doc told him he was okay yesterday, he slept like a baby last night - instead if sitting up all night crying like one. I'm guessing that my 'sickness' yesterday must have came from lack of sleep, because after getting a good night's sleep last night I woke up fine and dandy this morning.

I'm grinning from ear to ear right now as I have been since waking up. You wanna know why? Sure you do. It's because I know all of those telemarketers and collection agencies and credit card companies are calling my cell right as we speak only to find out that I've changed my number! I thought it cost like $20 or so to change a cell number with AT&T, but obviously it doesn't, because Pup was able to do it for me last night, and now I only have to give my new number to the people that I want to call me, and that list will be very short my friends, let me tell ya. I even considered not giving the new number to my mom, but being as how we're living in the same house right now that could cause a teensy problem. As of right now only 2 people have this number, and it's been a lovely quiet morning.

I'm exited to announce that I get to do a review for someone who can actually put together a proper sentence! Author Rebbie Macintyre is mailing me an ARC copy of her book Cast the First Stone. If you know me at all then you know how much I like to read, and you will understand my excitement. Ms. Macintyre also has another book due out in Feb. '10 called A Corner of Universe. The plot line for this work goes something like this:

With hopes of saving her floundering marriage, Chicago physician's wife Zoe Sterling welcomes her adult stepson into her home on Universe Street, but her well-meaning intentions ignite events that jeopardize everything she holds dear--including the life of her unborn child.

She's also asked that maybe I possibly review that one for her, also. Oh yes I will. I can't wait. Check back soon, dear readers, for my review of Cast the First Stone, as it should be on it's way to me right now via postal mail.

I'm one of THOSE moms.

I was so excited about today being Monday and the fact that I would have the house to myself ( & my blog ) for the majority of the day. Of course it didn't work out this way. I wake up at 8am with a child still in my bed, and a note on my door that my mother took it upon herself to leave him there for the day (he usually rides to school with her - she's a teacher) and make him a Dr. appointment, and call me later with the time. Gee, thanks mom.

Is he really sick? I have no clue.

Right now he is doing laps around the living room, stuffiing pop tarts down his throat, and playing with his army figurines. It's like some kind of crazy not-so-much-super hero thing. By day he is perfectly fine, but by night he transforms into (unfortunatley not superman) a screaming emo baby every time he wakes up during the night - which has went from maybe once to 4 or 5 times during the past 4 nights. You can imagine how much sleep I've been getting lately.

Also, you know how you see mothers out sometimes and they have piercings all over them and tattoos. Then you're like "Oh gosh, it's one of those mothers. Well, I am one of those mothers, and I had my nose repierced yesterday. Yes, it still hurt like a biatch. No I don't ever wear my eyebrow ring, and the only thing I wear in my nose is a teeny tiny crystal stud. I like it though, and don't really care if anyone else does or not. I'm probably the only mom at my son's preschool with a nosering though.

Sleep deprivation has turned me into a marching mumbling idiot, and I'd best log off while I can.

Mrs. Messiness wins The Atomic Giveaway!!!

I know I'm a little late on this.

I randomly chose the winner of Mom's Atomic Giveaway at 6pm on May 14th. Guess who won?  (BTW-Yes, I did randomizer it. I was actually gonna have the kid pick names from a hat, but what would have been the point if I would've been the only one to see it?)

Drum roll, Please. . . . .

Mrs. Messiness from This Blessed Mess!!

So, go on over and give her a little congrats. If you happen to be Mrs. Messiness then please e-mail your contact info to katadalya at gmail dot com!

Thanks to everyone who entered!

Chuck E. Cheese on May 2nd (a very BAD idea)

My child has a somewhat sickening obsession with The Mouse, known to us parents as Chuck E. Cheese. He has seen this more-than-likely-creepy old guy in a mouse costume only once in his life, but has been infatuated with him/it ever since. Being the wonderful mother that I am not, we planned a trip to visit non-other than The Mouse himself. Okay, I'll admit I didn't plan it at all. It was Pup's idea. The idea of driving over an hour to see a stage full of robotic dancing puppets and a few money sucking over-rated games doesn't excite me too awfully much. But, on a day like today I should have known. For the love of gobstoppers, why didn't I know?!

I've been peed on and almost abducted by aliens.

It's 5am, I'm awake, all the cookies are gone, and I might as well just go ahead and stay up. I think I've slept maybe 1 hour throughout the night. I wouldn't exactly call it an hour of peaceful sleep either, at least not after my creepy dream (maybe?) and being woken up by cold wee wee on my side. That is my life folks.

So I might as well blog about it.

Mom's Atomic Giveaway! ! ! Win Win Win!

Since we have just lived through (and enjoyed I must admit) Mother's Day 2009, I've been thinking about what I could do for you gals to let you know how much I appreciate ya, and I've decided that the best thing for me to do would be to host a giveaway! Then I started thinking, well what what would these chicks want? Then I realized I had no clue, but I picked something anyway. I know that some moms out there are crafty although I, myself, am not. The prize I picked out has the best of both worlds, and if you're not a crafty mama this kit will help you pretend.

Pocket Blessings

 An exclusive design by Dena Designs. "Create thoughtful, artfully-crafted greeting cards with a pocket-full of personal charm! This one-of-a-kind stationary collection holds all you need to craft whimsical, poetic greetings -- 30 beautiful, original cards with an innovative pocket design, 86 vellum quotes that are perfect for any occasion, and 41 delightful paper charms. With over 100,000 variations to choose from, you know your card will be one of a kind."