[Addiction has touched my life in so many ways, and I have decided to start talking more about it on my blog. If this type of subject matter is too much for you, then feel free to click on over to Momlogic.com for some other good reads/discussions.]
The ones I am speaking of are people who blog about a deafening truth. A truth that many of us, even if we are touched by it, rarely are brave enough to speak of it.
This truth is addiction.
Many of us have some type of vice or other, but few of us are ready to share anything like that. On our blogs we try to seem perfect, and untouched by the world's evil ways, and although many times this isn't the case; we try not to show it.
I want to be one of the first to tell the story. Actually, I know I'm not one of the first, and I know there are many out there just like myself and Maggie. Maggie is much braver than I, as she takes responsibility for the addiction that she possesses (or should I say possessed her). I, on the other hand, only wish to talk about addiction and how it has effected my life and my loved ones.
I want to be able to talk about how I watched my very best high school friend drown herself in an ocean of prescription medication. I want to be able to talk about how my ex-boyfriend spent way too much time in the bathroom with a belt wrapped around his arm. I want to talk about how the area that I live in is known for it's abuse of prescription meds, and the interstate that I live off of is called a "pipeline" for OxyContin.
People I haven't seen in years are unrecognizable to me. Scarred faces, toothless mouths, and the overbearing odor of dope. These people take advantage of friends and family members, feeding them lies about money problems in order to get the funds to get their next high. Their children have no parents, but surrogates, in the form of grandma and grandpa.
The absolute and only thing on their mind is 'feeling better'.
Why hasn't this been stopped? Your guess is as good as mine. We have drug dealers who have been dealing for years, and never been busted. We do have police officers, if that is what you call them, but it seems to me that they are more worried about making their quota on traffic tickets rather than on what is really plaguing our beautiful countryside.
When I was a child this was a wonderful place to live. Friendly people, familiar faces, beautiful scenery. Now, it is full of abandoned businesses, and people that are barely making it by.
Almost every family that I know has been effected by addiction in some way or another. Every single one of them, including my own.
Maybe one day I will be brave enough to share my story, but for now I will continue to focus on the stories and lives of others, while I sit here comfortably in my glass house.
It saddens me that I will be raising my children under these conditions, because honestly I don't want them to feel the pain that I have felt. I don't want them to see the things I have seen, and even though I know it's not possible, I would like for them to grow up believing that the world really is a good place, and that people really are (in spirit) good.
So, what do I do? Do I talk to my children (when they are old enough) about the evils I have experienced? Or, do I let them learn things on their own, and be there when they have a question or a sticky situation?
Hopefully, dear readers, I will be able to build up my courage enough in the future to share my personal experiences with the beast named Addiction. But, for now I am too weak. Too vulnerable. Too scared.